36525 days to live

The magic words for a great relationship are:

“I love you just the way you are”

It reminds me of a story I read somewhere many years ago.

A wife was taking some kind of self-improvement class with other women.

The teacher gave each woman an assignment to bring home.

They were to ask their partners an honest question: Could you tell me 5 things that you would like me to improve?

One of the husbands thought about it for a couple of days and when it was time to give the answer to his wife,

He said: “I couldn’t find a single thing that I’d like you to improve, I love you just the way you are”

These were the magic words…

And these came with the magic words too.

This was a smart move from the husband. If the wife had anything to improve, I’m almost sure she was already aware of it.

I suspect that after a gesture like this one from her husband, she even made a little extra effort.

What do you think?

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“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils”           

Hector Berlioz (1803-1869) French composer

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Time is a great teacher when we dare to make mistakes.

Time is a greater and more effective teacher when we accept to learn from our mistakes.

Time is the greatest and wisest teacher when we learn from the mistakes of others and avoid to make them ourselves.

Time will eventually kill all of us, and since we don’t know when, one of the most important lessons Time can teach us is:  To live each day like if it was our last .

What would you do differently if you learned that you had 100 days left to live?

If you can find YOUR right answer to this question,  Why wait ?

Vilfredo Federico Damaso Pareto 15 July 1848 – 19 August 1923), was an Italian engineer, sociologist, economist, and philosopher. He made several important contributions to economics, particularly in the study of income distribution and in the analysis of individuals’ choices. “His legacy as an economist was profound. Partly because of him, the field evolved from a branch of social philosophy as practiced by Adam Smith into a data intensive field of scientific research and mathematical equations. His books look more like modern economics than most other texts of that day: tables of statistics from across the world and ages, rows of integral signs and equations, intricate charts and graphs.” The pareto principle was named after him and built on observations of his such as that 80% of the land in Italy was owned by 20% of the population.

The Pareto principle (also known as the 80-20 rule the law of the vital few) states that, for many events, roughly 80% of the effects come from 20% of the causes.

Source; Wikipedia, January 10, 2011

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I discovered the pareto principle about 16 years ago when my company started a quality system initiative. Amazingly, this principle can be applied to many fields of endeavour and many different contexts. For example 80 % of the World wealth is controlled by 20 % of the people. If you start paying attention in your environment, you ‘ll discover many areas where the pareto principle works.

When it comes to time management, the worst use of your time is to do what need not be done at all. The Pareto principle says that 20% of your activities will account for 80% of the value of your activities. This means that, if you have a list of ten items to accomplish, two of those items will be worth more than the other eight items together.To be really productive, you must always be concentrating on the small number of activities that contribute the greatest value to your life.

The value of anything in your order of priorities can be measured by evaluating the consequences of doing it or not doing it. Something that is important has significant consequences in your life.

You must ask yourself as often as possible, “What is the most valuable use of my time, right now?”  

Whatever it is, work on that. Your ability to discipline yourself to work on those few tasks that can make the greatest difference in your life is the key quality that makes everything else possible for you.

Imagine that you are going to receive a  $ 25 000.00 bonus at the end of the month if you can work on your highest priority items every minute of the day.

How would that change your behavior?

What would you do differently?

Each one of us will experience disappointments and failures at some point in our lives. Most of the time, it will be unexpected.

When we face a challenge, we should try to focus on the future instead of the past. Instead of worrying about who did what and who is to blame, we should focus on where we want to be and what we want in life. It’s a much better use of our time.
It is important to know exactly what we want and we must act on what we want. Action is what will transform our circumstances toward a more desirable future.
Let’s use our past experiences to guide us; while being appreciative of our present conditions, let’s dream of an outstanding future for ourselves, our family and friends and the rest of humanity.

Every day is a new beginning when we focus on what we control.

Every time we face a challenge, it is an opportunity to turn the curse into a blessing.

I always liked the quote : “If life throws you a lemon, make lemonade. “

Personally, I have faced many failures in many areas of my life so many times that it doesn’t even bother me anymore.

The question is not: “Will I fail again”

The real question is more like: ” What lesson will I learn from this failure?”

It seems to me that we are stubborn students of life.

Life seems to tell us; here is a situation you need to face for your own developpement, and yet, most of the time, we will try to avoid the lesson. Why? Because it’s too damned hard! The curious thing about this is: the lesson we try to avoid seems to come back to us in many unexpected ways. Somehow, we can’t escape it. We have to meet the challenge.

An example?

I know some people (actually quite a lot of them) who move from relationship to relationship or from job to new job, only to discover after a while, the same problems they were experiencing in the previous relationship or old job. It seems to me that what they are trying to avoid comes back to them in another place and with different actors.

Personally, I start too many new projects and I don’t finish all of them. I know it, I’m aware of this but somehow, it doesn’t seem  to change. I have to admit I can’t do  it alone. When I face this kind of situation, I try to find a coach, a mentor or a personal trainer to make sure I am accountable to someone.

When we focus on the moment and accept to face what we have to, it can be difficult, but it is one of the best ways to grow, to outgrow the challenge.

What does this post have to do with time?

If we do what WE MUST do when WE HAVE TO do it, the day will come when we will do what WE WANT to do WHEN WE WANT TO do it.

The sooner we understand this concept and we put it in practice, the more time we will save to do other activities that we really enjoy.

Will you try it?

“Life is not a spectator sport. If you’re going to spend your whole life in the grandstand just watching what goes on, … you’re wasting your life.”

Jackie Robinson

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Do you prefer to watch “So You Think You Can Dance” or take dancing lessons with your partner?

Do you prefer to watch ” Property Virgins” or to invest your time taking care of  your own property?

Do you prefer to watch a “NHL game” or to go play hockey with your friends?

Do you prefer to live your life or watch other people live their own?

Personally I prefer the acting part…because life is in the living.

What do you prefer?

“With money you can buy a clock but not time”

Chinese proverb

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With good health, we have the energy to be productive,
When we are productive, we can earn a good living,
When we earn a lot of money, we can afford more things,
With more things or resources, it can improve our quality of life, ( up to a certain point)

When our quality of life improves, we can become more generous,
When we become more generous, we feel good about ourselves,
When we feel good about ourselves, it contributes to our general well being and health.
If I keep reasoning this way, it seems that all this should have a positive effect on our longevity.
But sometimes it doesn’t.
Why?
It is difficult to admit or to accept, but we don’ t have control over a lot of things.

One of the thing we don’t have much control over is: Time.

So money can buy us a lot of things, but not Time.

But do you take good care of your time?

“Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others”

Morrie Schwartz  (  Tuesdays with Morrie p.164)

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Why is it so important to forgive ourselves? Why is it so important to forgive others as soon as we can?

Forgiving ourselves and others is an act of letting go, it is also an act of selfishness because when we let go, we let go of the emotions that are poisoning our day. Who needs these emotions? Shouldn’t we use our limited time and energy for more exciting activities?

Morrie said “Forgive yourself and others before you die”.

But since we don’t know when we are going to die, why not forgive NOW?

If we know that we will eventually forgive, why wait?

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

Anonymous

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Goals are great because they cause us to stretch and grow in ways that we never have before.

In order to reach our goals we must become better.

We must change and grow.

Also, goals provide long term vision in our lives.

We all need lots of powerful, long term goals to help us get past short term obstacles.

Life is designed in such a way that we look long term and live short term.

We dream for the future and live in the present.

Unfortunately, the present can produce many difficult obstacles.

But fortunately, the more powerful our goals, the more we will be able to act on them in the short term.

What are your goals or dreams for 2012?

“ Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. ”

Theophrastus (372 BC – 287 BC)
Greek philosopher

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Theophrastus (Greek: Θεόφραστος; c. 371 – c. 287 BC^[1]), a Greek native of Eresos in Lesbos, was the successor toAristotle in the Peripatetic school. He came to Athens at a young age, and initially studied in Plato’s school. After Plato’s death he attached himself to Aristotle. Aristotle bequeathed to Theophrastus his writings, and designated him as his successor at the Lyceum. Theophrastus presided over the Peripatetic school for thirty-six years, during which time the school flourished greatly. After his death, the Athenians honoured him with a public funeral. His successor as head of the school was Strato of Lampsacus.

The interests of Theophrastus were wide-ranging, extending from biology and physics to ethics and metaphysics. His two surviving botanical works, Enquiry into Plants^[2] and On the Causes of Plants, were an important influence on medievalscience. There are also surviving works On Moral Characters, On Sensation, On Stones, and fragments on Physics andMetaphysics all written in Greek. In philosophy, he studied grammar and language, and continued Aristotle’s work on logic. He also regarded space as the mere arrangement and position of bodies, time as an accident of motion, and motion as a necessary consequence of all activity. In ethics, he regarded happiness as depending on external influences as well as onvirtue, and famously said that “life is ruled by fortune, not wisdom.”

Source: Wikipedia January 11, 2012

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We are where our attention is!

While we are home our thoughts are still absorbed with solving the challenges we face at the office.

And when we are at the office we find ourselves worrying about problems at home.

We go through the day without really listening to what others are saying to us.

We may be hearing the words, but we aren’t listening to the message.

We go through the day and we find ourselves focusing on past experiences or future projects.

We are so involved in yesterday and tomorrow that we don’t even notice that today is slipping by.

We go through the day rather than getting something from the day.

We are everywhere at any given moment in time except living in that moment in time.

To pay attention is learning to be wherever you are.

To pay attention is capturing each moment so that it becomes a new part of who we are.

To pay attention is something we do; better, it is something we experience. Fully.

And until we learn to be where our attention is, we will never really enjoy the moment. Fully.

Where is your attention now?

What will you do today to remind yourself to pay attention?

The time to relax is when you don’t have time for it.

Sydney Harris

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There is so much wisdom in this short and simple quote.

The hands of the clock of time are moving fast.

We cry out…Wait ! Stop!  but time does not hear our cries.

It is later than you think!

Wake up ! Take possession of your own mind while you still have enough time to become that which you would have liked to have been in the past.

Make the most of your present inventory of time.

You have been warned!

Now the responsibility is yours.

There is a simple test by which you can evaluate  whether or not you have been using your time to best advantage.

If you experience peace of mind and  have enough control over your personal time, chances are that it has been properly used.

If you are always racing and out of breath, your time has not been properly used, and you should begin now to look how you could improve your circumstances.

Tic toc, tic toc, the pendulum of the clock of time is swinging rapidly!

The time has come for everyone to stand up and be counted.

Technologies has speeded up the clock of time so rapidly that the next 50 years will reveal to humanity more opportunities for self-improvement that have been revealed during the entire past of man’s existence.

Your share of these vast opportunities may be taken advantage of, and used only by the way you relate yourself to TIME!

What will you do about it?

You will never find time for anything.

If you want time you must make it.

 Charles Buxton

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Charles Buxton (18 November 1823 – 10 August 1871) was an English brewer, philanthropist, writer and Member of Parliament.

Buxton was born in Cobham, Surrey, the third son of Sir Thomas Buxton, 1st Baronet, a notable brewer, MP and social reformer, and followed in his father’s footsteps, becoming a partner in the brewery of Truman, Hanbury, Buxton, & Co in Brick Lane, Spitalfields, London, and then an MP. He served as Liberal MP for Newport, Isle of Wight(1857–1859), Maidstone (1859–1865) and East Surrey (1865–1871). His son Sydney Buxton was also an MP and governor of South Africa.

Source : Wikipedia, January 05, 2012

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Each morning when I open my eyes I say to myself: I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn’t arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I’m going to be happy in it.

Groucho Marx

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A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people.

When it comes to relationships with your loved ones;

Love is spelled  T-I-M-E.

So I’ll do just that for the next 2 weeks.

I’ll be back next year!

Happy New Year!

“The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware,

 joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware.”

Henry Miller (1891-1980) US novelist

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When I am completely aware and living in the NOW, it is easier for me to accept the things as they really are and not as I want them to be. It’s when I’m preoccupied with the potential problems of the future that I lose most of my awareness. This is why it is so important for us to put things in perspective, especially a long-term perspective. If I ask myself questions like the following ones;

What will I think of this particular problem in 1, 5 or 10 years?

How will I feel about this frustration a week from now?

Why am I so annoyed with this person?

How can I keep my calm when I’m stuck in a traffic jam?

Who cares if this stranger is insulting me?

… you can continue with your own questions here.

When we think of it, it is often these petty annoyances that disturb us the most.

After we take the time to answer these questions with a long term perspective in mind, we can start to live in the NOW again, and that improves our quality of life. Awaress is in the NOW .

Why does it take so much time to so many of us to understand this simple reality?

Or if we understand it, why is it so difficult to practice in our own lives?

Time Flies! Use your time well by avoiding meaningless busy work.

At every instant of every day, you are making a choice of how you spend your time.

You have a very limited amount of time, so your time is extremely valuable.

You can’t do everything you consider doing, or everything others demand of you.

You establish your real priorities in life by your choices of how you allocate your time.

Whenever you spend time on some mindless activity you have chosen your priorities…

but have you chosen well?

Do I do my best every day with the resources that I have?

If I only give you 60 % of myself today, I cannot give you 140 % tomorrow.

Why?

Because it’s impossible to give more 100 % of yourself.

Period.

The nature of life is constant change.

The world is not the same today as it was yesterday, and it will be different still tomorrow.

We can be victims of that change, or we can drive change.

Benjamin Franklin used to say:  Drive your business or your business will drive thee.

Think about it, he wrote this thought almost 200 years ago.

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The steps towards reaching your goal and overcome your resistance to change.

Visualize the end result.

Plan.

Take action.

Obstacles will appear.

Persevere.

Receive feedback.

Adapt your plan.

Take action again.

More obstacles will appear.

Persevere.

Celebrate victory. Reward yourself.

Don’t be afraid of change!

“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”

Zig Ziglar

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How much time and worrying would we save by adopting this attitude in life?

“Start by doing what’s necessary,

then what’s possible,

and suddenly you are doing the impossible”

Francis of Assisi

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This is a great recommendation against procrastination,

against complaining, against discouragement, against laziness.

Ask yourself:

Do I put these suggestions into practice?

Do I neglect anything that I know of?

Only you can answer these questions.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; but remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hope for.”

Epicurus

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Most of us want more and more…

More material, more entertainment, more fun, more exciting experiences, more knowledge, more and more of so many things.

And this is our human nature.

The challenge for us is to appreciate each moment, good and not so good.

It’s time to appreciate what we have NOW, TODAY.

In 1996, I  have read a book which had a profound influence on my  personal time management. The title of the book is “The 7 habits of highly effective people”.The reason why this book had a greater influence than other books is that I systematically put into practice its content. I used to work with  daily to-do lists and when my day was over, I was very frustrated that I did not accomplish what I wanted. So here is what I learned from this book.

One of the great messages of the book is to plan every week in advance, preferably the Sunday before the workweek begins. Then, review your planning every day in advance, preferably the night before. When you make a list of everything you have to do the following day, your subconscious mind works on that list all night long. When you wake up in the morning, you will often have ideas and insights to help you accomplish the items on your list.

Sometimes in our daily routine, things can get out of control and we end up not doing what we were supposed to do. This is why when we plan a week in advance, it gives us the opportunity to organize most of our tasks throughout the week. It gives us a better way to deal with the unexpected situations.

Another key message is to separate the urgent from the important. In the process of managing your time, you must separate the urgent tasks from the important ones. Urgent tasks are determined by external pressures and requirements. You must do them immediately. Once you took care of the urgent tasks, it gives you the freedom of mind to give your full attention to the important ones.

If you feel frustrated at the end of your days with the impression that you never have enough time to do all you want, I recommend that you try this very simple technique of planning a week in advance.

One more thing, leave some free time in your agenda to have time to deal with the unexpected situations. There will be some.

“Start living now. Stop saving the good china for that special occasion. Stop withholding your love until that special person materializes. Every day you are alive is a special occasion. Every minute, every breath, is a gift”

Mary Manin Morrissey

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It seems to me that Natasha Richardson had almost everything going for herself. She seemed to be happily married to Northern Irish actor Liam Neeson. She had two sons. She came from a famous British family of actors and actresses. I assume that she was financially wealthy. She left this world unexpectedly at the age of 45 (16747 days).

On 16 March 2009,  Natasha Richardson sustained a head injury when she fell while taking a skiing lesson at the Mont Tremblant Resortin Quebec, about 130 kilometres (81 mi) from Montreal. The injury was followed by a lucid interval, when Richardson seemed to be fine and was able to talk and act normally. Paramedics and an ambulance which initially responded to the accident were told they were not needed and left. Refusing medical attention, she returned to her hotel room and about three hours later was taken to a local hospital in Sainte-Agathe-des-Monts after complaining of a headache. She was transferred from there by ambulance to Hôpital du Sacré-Cœur,Montreal, in critical condition and was admitted about seven hours after the fall. The following day she was flown to Lenox Hill Hospitalin New York City, where she died on 18 March. An autopsy conducted by the New York City Medical Examiners Office on 19 March revealed the cause of death was an “epidural hematoma due to blunt impact to the head”, and her death was ruled an accident.

Source Wikipedia, January 14, 2011

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It reminds me of an incident that happened to me on October 1 st 2005. I was coaching at the hockey school. I wasn’t wearing my helmet that morning… I fell on the ice and hit my head really hard. My wife was sitting on the bench and heard the sound of my head hitting the ice. (do you remember how noisy it is at the arena?) I didn’t hear a thing but I sure felt it. I was completely dizzy. It took me a good 30 minutes to start feeling normal again. When I read Natasha’s story, it makes me realize that what happened to her could have happened to me.  I am so thankful that my life was spared that day.

This is another reason why I try to live each day like it’s the last.

Does this make you realize how fragile your life really is?

If your answer is YES…

Start living now!

Every day is a new day, and even every minute is a new minute.  You can make a choice to change at any time.

Most people think life forces them to make choices.

I  think your choices make your life.

You make the choices, and then your choices make you.

Your wealth, health and the way you are living today, are the result of the choices you’ve made up to this point.

Which choice will you make today?

Do you ever become frustrated with the areas of your life when you don’t witness any progress?

I do.

You try and try, again and again, and the results are not visible.

Solution?

Hire a coach,

There are as many coaches today as there are fields of endeavour.

Yes but, it cost a lot of money to hire a coach, I hear you say.

OK, did you consider the cost of …

wasting your precious time without attaining the desired results?

The cost of ignorance,

the cost of lost opportunities,

the cost of being frustrated,

These different costs add up like if they would be in the hidden cells of Excel spreadsheet.

They exist even if you don’t see them on your screen.

So If you really want to save time and eliminate some frustrations in your life,

Please consider hiring a specialized coach!

Laugh as often you can.

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Apologize when you should.

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And let go of what you can’t change.

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