I must figure out what I have control over and what I don’t have control over.
So what do I have control over?
I have some control on the choices that I make here and now.
In every 24 hour period, I try to make the best choices possible with the knowledge, the resources and the opportunities that I have.
Every minute, well not every minute but as often as possible, I try to become aware of my thoughts and my decisions. When I try to choose correctly at every moment, I should have a good and productive hour, when I try to choose correctly every hour, I should have a good and productive day, when I try to choose correctly every day, I should end up with a good and productive week, and month, and year and decade ….
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough and we’ll be more content when they are.
After that we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with, we will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, are able to go on a nice vacation, when we retire. The truth is there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges. It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway. One of my favorite quotes comes from Alfred D Souza.
He said, “For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin -real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
This perspective has helped me to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way, so, treasure every moment that you have. And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time… and remember that time waits for no one.
So stop waiting until you finish school, until you go back to school, until you lose ten pounds, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until fall, until winter, until you are off welfare, until the first or fifteenth, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink, until you’ve sobered up, until you die, until you are born again to decide that there is no better time than right now to be happy… Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
So, work like you don’t need money.
Love like you’ve never been hurt.
Dance like no one’s watching. Anon
Here is a lesson in leadership from a crazy dancer…
As I was driving back from Burlington, Vermont, today, I had a flat tire on my car. As we started to fix the flat tire, one of the lock nut broke in a way that it was impossible to remove the wheel. Trying to find a garage that is open for business on a Sunday afternoon is quite a challenge, especially in a small rural area. So we phoned CAA to get some help. When the guy arrived on site, he was unable to fix the problem for us. So, with his help, we manage to put some air in the tire and drive about 10 km while he was calling his boss to see if he could open the garage to help us out. Luckily for us, his boss agreed to come and help.
After almost 3 hours of delay, we were able to keep driving back home to Montreal.
Even if my family and I had a very good get-away week end, we were getting impatient as it was taking longer than expected to solve this problem. I had to stay calm and try to encourage the others in the car to remain as calm as possible. It is much easier to write and talk about calmness than to get everyone to stay calm. ( wife and teenagers)
When something happens, we must stop ourself from reacting, and notice if our reaction is about to benefit us or disadvantage us. The way we choose to react can actually help us grow positively, regardless of the problem.
Sometimes, we are at our personal best when we are in the middle of a crisis. Somehow, we find the energy and the courage to fight when everything seems to be hopeless. On the other hand, the routine of the day to day can sometimes drain more energy from us than a big crisis.
Why would this be? It seems to me that our focus is better and that we are less distracted when times are hard than when times are easy.
“In truth, each one of us since the moment of our birth has been given a death sentence, only the date is unknown. However, the fact of death is always present in the deepest part of our subconcious mind. Between the time of birth and the time of death , we do the best we know how.”
Fascination is one step above interest. You will learn more from being fascinated by life than you will from being frustrated by it.
In the last couple of years I have developped a childlike fascination with life and people.
I’m fascinated with so many things like foreign cultures, technological innovations, scientific discoveries, the vastness of the Universe, art and music styles, books, movies, and people from all walks of life.
What frustrates me every day? To know that I will not be able to see it all, to experience it all, to learn it all.
I guess this is why my biggest fascination for the last couple of years has been about the brevity of life and how limited our time is as humans. This is how I turned my frustration into fascination.
To make sure I keep myself fascinated, I keep a list of more than 140 goals and dreams to accomplish. These include books to read, cities to visit, new countries to discover, new skills to learn, old ones to re-learn, investments to make, new people to meet. I’m interested in so many different things that it would be too long to enumerate.
Today’s question for you is the following:
Most of the time, are you fascinated or frustrated with life?
One of the great illusions in our life is to be addicted to busyness, it gives us the feeling of being productive, but are we really? There are so many demands in our lives that it becomes very easy to lose focus.Then there is the information overload or all kinds of other activities.
It’s not always easy to SAY NO to less important activities when we should SAY YES to our most important projects. It requires constant vigilance. Many years ago, I read a great book that explain how to choose our priorities.
The title is First Things First by Stephen Covey.
I encourage you not only to read this book, but to study it seriously.
In my opinion, this is one of the best books on life and time management ever written.
The time that we waste will never come back.
I repeat; the time that we waste will never come back!
It is a sad reality but it is also a great wake-up call.
How do you make sure that you don’t waste too much precious time?
How do you keep the focus on your most important projects?
How do you know that you spend your time on what you really care about?
With good health, we have the energy to be productive,
When we are productive, we can earn a good living,
When we earn a lot of money, we can afford more things,
With more things or resources, it can improve our quality of life, ( up to a certain point)
When our quality of life improves, we can become more generous,
When we become more generous, we feel good about ourselves,
When we feel good about ourselves, it contributes to our general well being and health.
If I keep reasoning this way, it seems that all this should have a positive effect on our longevity.
But sometimes it doesn’t.
Why?
It is difficult to admit or to accept, but we don’ t have control over a lot of things.
One of the thing we don’t have much control over is: Time.
So money can buy us a lot of things, but not Time.
A while ago, a lady went to a restaurant in downtown Montreal to celebrate her birthday with her husband , as they entered the restaurant, apparently they asked the hostess for a seat near the window to get access to a better view…
This is an excerpt of the Montreal Gazette July 17, 2009
“MONTREAL – One minute Thursday night, a couple was quietly celebrating a birthday inside the Mikasa Sushi Bar on Peel St.; the next minute, a concrete slab crashed through the glass skylight above them, killing the 33-year-old woman instantly.
Her husband of two years, also 33, lay next to her lifeless body screaming, “Ma femme! Ma femme! Stay with me!”
He pleaded for help, but other diners and staff were paralyzed with shock. Minutes later, sobbing and screaming, the man was loaded into an ambulance, his right hand wrapped in a blood-soaked napkin, two single tracks of blood running down his cheek.
“Her birthday was Monday, that’s what they were celebrating,” said the nurse, who spoke on condition that her name not be published. The concrete panel from the 18th floor of the Marriott Residence Inn crashed through the sloping glass ceiling of the restaurant, which lies directly below at street level, and hit the woman “directly” – while she was seated at her table, said Montreal police Constable Olivier Lapointe.”
The last thing this couple was expecting on that evening was a piece of concrete to fall on the woman’s head… 33 years old. (12 045 days)
The reason why I bring up this story today is to show that when we have regrets about the past or worries about the future, we waste precious time and energy. We must focus on the present.
This is where our attention should be because this is where we have a little more control over what happens to us. This lady didn’t have much control over what happened to her that night.
Today, try to focus your attention on what you can influence and the rest will take care of itself.
I agree with the creator of Peanuts; we should only “dread one day at a time”
Living isn’t complicated, feeding yourself isn’t complicated, finding a roof over your head isn’t complicated, learning new skills isn’t complicated, making new friends isn’t complicated, It’s actually quite easy.
If what I’m writing is valid, Why do so many of us have the tendency to complicate very simple puzzles and transform them into very difficult problems to solve? Are we some kind of maso-psycho-slow-destructive-kamikaze unto ourselves?
When you meet with someone who tells you that something is very complicated,
First BEWARE, then RELAX because it’s probably not.
It’s not always easy to choose because we must take responsibility for our choices. In my opinion, when we choose for ourselves, we increase our own personal freedom and we cannot blame others for what happens or what doesn’t happen to us.
Another difficulty with choosing is that when we say YES to one thing, we are saying NO to another thing because our time and space are limited.