Serenity


“What you leave behind is not what is engraved in stone monuments, but what is woven into the lives of others.”

Pericles

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Wow!  I like this quote from Pericles.

It reminded me of what was woven into my own life.

The person who had the most influence on my of thinking has passed away in 1912.

How did he influence me?

With a great book that he had published in 1902-03.

This book that he left is his legacy to the world. Millions of people have been influenced by this masterpiece and still are today.

The title of the book is: As_a_Man_Thinketh . It is available for free on the web at many places.

It is now in the public domain within the United States and most other countries. It was released the 1st of October 2003 as a Project Gutenberg eText edition

File:James Allen.jpg

The mystery litterary Man: James_Allen_(author)

This book is one of the shortest I ever read, one of the easiest to understand, and yet, one of the hardest to put into practice.

I have read this book dozens of time and plan to read it over and over again.

Why will I read it again and again? Because even if I understand it very well, I still don’t apply many of its principles.

I recommend  this book to you very much. To read with absolutely no distraction or noise…

“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at the time.”

Charles Schulz, Peanuts, cartoon

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A while ago, a lady went to a restaurant in downtown Montreal to celebrate her birthday with her husband , as they entered the restaurant, apparently they asked the hostess for a seat near the window to get access to a better view…

This is an excerpt of the Montreal Gazette July 17, 2009

“MONTREAL – One minute Thursday night, a couple was quietly celebrating a birthday inside the Mikasa Sushi Bar on Peel St.; the next minute, a concrete slab crashed through the glass skylight above them, killing the 33-year-old woman instantly.

Her husband of two years, also 33, lay next to her lifeless body screaming, “Ma femme! Ma femme! Stay with me!”

He pleaded for help, but other diners and staff were paralyzed with shock. Minutes later, sobbing and screaming, the man was loaded into an ambulance, his right hand wrapped in a blood-soaked napkin, two single tracks of blood running down his cheek.

“Her birthday was Monday, that’s what they were celebrating,” said the nurse, who spoke on condition that her name not be published. The concrete panel from the 18th floor of the Marriott Residence Inn crashed through the sloping glass ceiling of the restaurant, which lies directly below at street level, and hit the woman “directly” – while she was seated at her table, said Montreal police Constable Olivier Lapointe.”

The last thing this couple was expecting on that evening was a piece of concrete to fall on the woman’s head…  33 years old.   (12 045 days)

The reason why I bring up this story today is to show that when we have regrets about the past or worries about the future, we waste precious time and energy. We must focus on the present.

This is where our attention should be because this is where we have a little more control over what happens to us. This lady didn’t have much control over what happened to her that night.

Today, try to focus your attention on what you can influence and the rest will take care of itself.

I agree with the creator of Peanuts; we should only “dread one day at a time”

How many days to you “dread” in advance?

“Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils”

Hector Berlioz (1803-1869) French composer

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Time is a great teacher when we dare to make mistakes.

Time is a greater and more effective teacher when we accept to learn from our mistakes.

Time is the greatest and wisest teacher when we learn from the mistakes of others and avoid to make them ourselves.

Time will eventually kill all of us, and since we don’t know when, one of the most important lessons Time can teach us is:  To live each day to the fullest..

What did Time teach you recently?

What would you do differently if you learned that you had 3 months left to live?

Oh really!    

Why wait?

“The future will depend on what we do in the present”

Mahatma Gandhi

(1869-1948)

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We all know this, it is so simple to understand when we read it. However, the challenge is not only to read it and understand it, the real challenge is to practice what we understand so well.

Yes, practice it day in day out, especially when you have distractions, a bad day or a good day.

Whatever is your dream, your project, your goal, pursue it relentlessly without wasting time.

You need a burning desire to keep you absorbed and focused, even when you have so many responsibilities and distractions.

Will you?

“I can’t go back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”

 Lewis Carroll

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We cannot change the past, we can learn from the past and we can avoid repeating the same mistakes too many times over.

Someone will say;  “This is so obvious!”

Yes it is!

Why do so many of us let our lives be governed by our personal history if we can’t go back to yerterday?

See all we have in life is time. From the moment of our first breath, the clock started ticking. The sands of time started to fall down the hourglass and the fuse of our life started to burn down.

Until I value myself, I won’t value my time……..

Unknown author

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“Before my cancer, I was often afraid to try new things or do something different. But I just began singing lessons and this summer I’m off on my first kayak camping trip. I have a chance at living again, and I try to take a moment every day to really appreciate just being alive.”

Joshua, 24 years old, testicular cancer, 2-year survivor

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“Live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse.”

Author unknown

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I don’t know who wrote this, but he or she probably had some hedonistic tendancies or a good sense of humor.

It brings to my mind the following questions;

It is better to live a very long  life and experience illness, old age and slowly losing  most of our physical and mental capacities or is it better to live fully and die younger before we experience all these inconvenients?

I don’t know, what are the pros and cons?

What do you think?

Which one would you prefer?

“My life is my message.”

Mahatma Gandhi.

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A good friend of mine wrote this little note after one of his good friends passed away;

What is life?

“Sometimes life goes by too fast for anyone to see what is really going on around them.Why do we always wait for someone we love to leave this world for everyone around them to realize how little time we have? We have to see the sadness in the people we love before asking ourselves the same question over and over. What else am I going to miss in life before I decide to slow down?”

Ritz Pesce

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Why, why, why???

“Time cools; time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours.”

Thomas Mann

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Good news, bad news, good mood, bad mood, joy, disappointments, new and exciting projects, boring routine, sunny day, rainy day, entertainment, lazy sunday afternoon…

This is what life is made of and each one of us must make the best of it.

One of the best lines I have ever read is from Anthony Di Mello who said: I AM NOT my depression.

He meant that we all have bad days but we can choose to watch our bad mood as a spectator would watch a movie, we don’t have to identify with it, we can simply become the observer of our mood.

Remember that it is not what happens to us but how we react to what happens to us that matters.

Do you spend too much time worrying about your mood swings?

Do you accept that you can have a bad day and just witness yourself having a bad day?

 

 

“Don’t say you don’t have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Louis Pasteur, Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson and Albert Einstein.”
 
— Jackson Brown Jr., writer
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Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.”

Zig Ziglar

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How much time and worrying would we save by adopting this attitude in life?

“There are very few men – and they are the exceptions – who are able to think and feel beyond the present moment”.
 
 Carl Von Clausewitz 1780-1831
 
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One of the most difficult things to practice in our lives is to delay gratification and to take a long term perspective with our projects. Our consumer society doesn’t help us when it encourages us to BUY NOW and PAY LATER. Many times, we buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people who don’t care. We should always try to make the difference between an expense and an investment. We should try to avoid instant gratification. It’s a big challenge because it goes against every major trend in our society.
 
It applies to other areas in our lives as well;
 
The Olympic athlete has to make a lot of sacrifices to reach his/her goal. The medical student has to concentrate on his/her classes in order to get the diploma. The investor has to learn patience if he or she wants to earn dividends.
 
It is difficult because we should enjoy every day like if it is the last and at the same time invest our efforts and our resources for the future. The challenge for us is to find the balance between these two concepts.
 
Do you have the right balance between your daily activities and your long term projects?
 

“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.”

— Mother Teresa, charity worker

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When we give a sincere compliment, it costs us nothing, but it enriches the person who receives it. It usually doesn’t take much of our time, but it has a long lasting effect on the recipient.

Why don’t we take time to give more compliments?

“It is neither wealth nor splendor, but tranquility and occupation, which give happiness”

Thomas Jefferson

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Thomas Jefferson was describing the “Flow” before it was clearly defined by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person in an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and success in the process of the activity. Proposed by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the positive psychology concept has been widely referenced across a variety of fields.

According to Csikszentmihalyi, flow is completely focused motivation. It is a single-minded immersion and represents perhaps the ultimate in harnessing the emotions in the service of performing and learning. In flow the emotions are not just contained and channeled, but positive, energized, and aligned with the task at hand. To be caught in the ennui of depression or the agitation of anxiety is to be barred from flow. The hallmark of flow is a feeling of spontaneous joy, even rapture, while performing a task.

Colloquial terms for this or similar mental states include: to be on the ball, in the zone, in the groove, or keeping your head in the game.

(source: Wikipedia, english, May 18, 2010)

How often are you experiencing the Flow?

  “Perfection of character is this: to live each day as if it were your last, without frenzy, without apathy, without pretense.”
   
  Marcus Aurelius (121–180)
Roman emperor, philosopher

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In other words, we should try to be fully aware of each moment, to do one thing at the time with people, to be active and productive and to simply be ourselves.

“Forgive yourself before you die. Then forgive others”

Morrie Schwartz  (  Tuesdays with Morrie p.164)

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Why is it so important to forgive ourselves? Why is it so important to forgive others as soon as we can?

Forgiving ourselves and others is an act of letting go, it is also an act of selfishness because when we let go, we let go of the emotions that are poisoning our day. Who needs these emotions? Shouldn’t we use our limited time and energy for more exciting activities?

Morrie said “Forgive yourself and others before you die”

But since we don’t know when we are going to die, why not forgive NOW?

If we know that we will eventually forgive, why wait?

“Forget the past and live in the present hour”

Sarah Knowles Bolton

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There is not much you can do about your past. The only thing you can do is learn from it and try not to repeat the same mistakes.

But what if I cannot learn from my past mistakes? First, forgive yourself for not learning the lesson, then pay the price one more time until you sick of learning the same lesson over and over again.

Which lesson are you willing to learn over and over again?

What do most people get out of criticizing others? I simply can’t understand that.

Sometimes, I still find myself doing it . I hate it when I do this.

What a waste of time. Live and let live.

Do you often “catch” yourself criticizing others?

Shouldn’t we learn to appreciate others?

What do we get out of it ?

“To revolt against reality will only torment you.”

Author unknown

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If you have any doubts about this quote, just keep trying and I’ll promise you will be disappointed.

Remember the beginning of the post on serenity.

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things that I cannot change

And the courage to change the things that I can.”

Another way to say the same thing is

“Accept things as they really are and not as you want them to be”

This is the way to face realism.

Do you still like to be tormented?

Isn’t it a waste of your time and energy to rebel against things over which you have very little control?

Do you ever find yourself saying:

When I’m older, I’ll do this…

Or when it’s time or when I have a chance…

When I finish school, I’ll be able to…

When I have more money…

When I get married, I’ll be …

When the house is paid, we’ll go …

When the kids leave the house, we’ll move…

When I retire, I’ll have more time to…

When I’m dying… Oh no not already… AHHHHHHH…

We should learn to enjoy the road while we are travelling, because if we put all our hopes on the destination, we could be disappointed.

Most of the time, the anticipation is more exciting than the actual outcome.

For years, I wanted to be older, but NOT ANYMORE.

What about you?

Through my efforts, I gain the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

To live one day at a time;
Enjoy one moment at a time;
Accept the hardships as natural balance;
Taking this beautiful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting in the balance;
That I may be able to see myself as happy in this life
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(Many authors have worked on this one, I don’t know who to give the credit to)

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This is so much easier said than done, but I’ll keep on trying until…

I could try to comment this text over and over again, but the real challenge is to live by it when we are confronted with daily frustrations.

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation”

Henry David Thoreau

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If this is how you feel, there is still a chance to change it. It’s up to you.

Will you?

 

“No matter how small and unimportant what we are doing may seem, if we do it well, it may become the step that will lead us to better things.”

Channing Pollock

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This is encouraging and inspiring ! Why ? Because there is always room for improvement

Don’t you think so?

It is not enough to be industrious; so are the ants. What are you industrious about?

Henry David Thoreau

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Some people are so busy.Really? Busy doing what exactly ? Do you really want to do what you do everyday ?

If you had 10 million dollars, would you keep doing what you are doing now?

Do you enjoy what you do so much that you would gladly to do it for free?

What is YOUR answer ?